A - Z Challenge: H is for HAZCHEM and also for Harris, Charlaine

is for

HAZCHEM

         PART I:

        WHAT IS IT?

It's a bit of a cheat is what it is since hazchem, or more properly HAZCHEM is an abbreviation of Hazardous Chemicals [1]  They are usually mixed in with a bright dye which turns it into a variety of colours in the blue, purple and pink colour range.


Coincidently this is the same colour range as Gatorade but ironically the chemicals usually taste better.

        WHERE DO YOU GET IT?

Hardware stores, work sites, underneath the sink, All over the place really.  

The bigger question would be why do you want it?  

Because this is going to be the question that'll be asked if you stand at the counter demanding that they hand over a hundredweight of arsenic with a turpentine chaser. [2]

        USING IT IN REAL LIFE:

CAVEAT:

You should only ever use hazardous chemicals for their intended purpose.

If they get on exposed skin or inside your body [3] then seek medical attention immediately.

Remember we all love you and want to see you home safely.

        USING IT IN WRITING:

Here is where you can finally let your inner mad scientist off the leash and place an ad announcing that he's currently hiring Igors.

With potions and formulas that bubble, froth and seethe with in a manner that speaks of their hidden menace.  The hero will certainly have his work cut out for him since the effects of the various chemicals that he drinks [4] are going to vary wildly according to the needs of the plot.


It might be that someone is poisoned and the chemicals required to form the antidote are both difficult to obtain and almost impossible to transport.


Perhaps someone doesn't want to take their medicine and the baddies force them to drink or bathe in the chemicals until something happens. [5]

            MIGHT ONE TAKE OVER THE WORLD WITH IT?

        PART II:

H

is also for

Harris, Charlaine

Author of The Southern Vampire Mysteries which are more popularly known as True Blood.  It follows Sookie Stackhouse who is a waitress in the small town of Bon Temps.  Vampires, werewolves and mystical beasties of all descriptions abound and each book is a great read that don't require knowledge of the previous books in the series so that you know exactly whats going on.

I would offer this book to anyone I saw reading Twilight [5] 

        NOTES:

1. Also an indication that I wrote this one at work.  I've been looking at the HAZCHEM notification signs for the last 5 years.
2. The trick is to go in disguised as a farmer and buy a whole lot of equipment to go along with your story.
3. Using methods that I don't get paid enough to speculate about.
4. Of course he's going to be a male.  We're the only ones who are clever enough to look at the skull and crossbow on the bottles label and think "I bet that would go down well with a twist of lemon"
   
   If the main characters a woman then she'll be the one thinking "I bet I could charge some guy $10.00 a shot"
5. It worked for the Joker and Clayface (of Batman Fame as if I needed to tell you)
6. No I wouldn't.  I'd be all smug and superior because I was reading quality work with vampires and actual scary bits.

The Hasty Higgeldipiggledy Hen,
who went to market in a Blue Bonnet and Shawl,
and bought a Fish for her Supper.