Friday, 26 August 2011

The Half Gallon Jar - Those M.P. Jokers make the entertaining korero

Those M.P jokers make the entertaining korero
[For those of us who are not well versed in New Zealand politics in general and of the 60's in particular.  I have included links to the relevent Wikipedia articles down the bottom] 

Py Korry, I listen to the radio to hear those pakeha M.P Jokers making the korero from Wellington. Tell you what, I think it more better than listening to the wrestling or the football. I think it will be even more better when it get near the elections, and better still when we get the televisions so we can see these MP fellas in action. The other night they all have a fair go and make the korero all night until four o'clock in the morning.

Some of the members they not feel very well, 'cause some have the flu and some have the belly ache, and one have the ulcer on the leg. All these jokers say they rather stay in bed 'cause they all feel so crook. Mr Holyoake say that he think it more better if these sick fellas go home to bed. Mr Nash he say not on your plurry life, and he send a member out to Bellamys (that's the pub in parliament House) to round up all the sick jokers with the whip.

In the Bellamys you can't buy the half -gallon jar but only the small bottle of the lager and the whiskey. Mr Nash think it the good idea if one of his members sick that Mr Holyoake send one of his men out to the Bellamys too. I think this the good idea, then they can have a drink together and make friends and not argue the toss about the Nelson railway, 'cause neither of them would care much about it anyway once they were in the Bellamys. After a while all the members they very tired and lose the temper and say the bad things about each other.

Mr Speaker, he the referee, but he not blow the whistle but he call out “Order! Order!” when he thinks someone not get the fair go. When Mr Speaker hears a member call a joker a plurry liar he stops the whole show and he says, “No Ho. Gentle-man can use this talk” and he makes the joker withdraw their bad words.

The member then he say:”OK Mr speaker, the Hon. Gentleman he not the plurry liar but he convert the truth to his own use.”

Mr Speaker not give the penalty this time but gives the warning and sort of orders the set scrum to go down.

After a while up gets the Hon. Mabel Howard to make the korero. She the minister for the bobby calf. She no sooner starts to get cracking when some National joker make the interject.

I don't think this National chap been in the parliament for very long 'cause he don't know how good this Mabel Howard is when she gets into action.

She say:” Mr Speaker, I came into this house to my the speech and I know my rights. I am not going to be stopped by the Hon. Gentleman on the other side of the house”

Py korry, she declare the open season for this joker and give him both barrels. All the Labour jokers say “Hear hear” and a lot of the National members say “Hear hear” and everybody clap 'cause they know that the Mabel Howard is the wahine minister and all wahines have the last word anyway.

Mr Nordmeyer he not say very much on this night 'cause he the very tired man after he make the Budget. Mr Nash tell him to take it easy for a while' cause he want him to sort of play front row for Labour in the big test in November. Mr Nash he the only man not tired cause he used to sitting up all night in the airplane all over the world. Py korry, that Walter Nash he the great stayer alright, just like the Lochgair in the Northern. That Holyoake chap he not the bad joker either. More better I think if he were the single man cause he would get all the wahine votes. He the good looking joker.

I feel sorry for that Mr Speaker. He got the hard job in the house cause when all the other members go tot he Bellamy to have the quick one he have to stay in the chair to say the “Order! Order!”

Another man in the House is a joker by the name of Hansard. He is the kind of line umpire to help Mr Speaker. This feller is not on the inside of the house but both Mr Nash and Mr Holyoake are always saying: “Lets go and see Hansard”

Hansard I think lives out in the Bellamys and keeps a record of what the members say away back to the Dark Ages. Anyway he not in the House proper otherwise we would hear him on the radio.

If Mr Hansard live out in the Bellamys, py korry, I think he got the best job in the House of Parliament.


[Shamelessly pinched from Wikipedia]

Sir Keith Jacka Holyoake, KG, GCMG, CH, QSO, KStJ (11 February 1904 – 8 December 1983) was a New Zealand politician. The only person to have been both Prime Minister and Governor-General of New Zealand,[1] Holyoake was National Party Prime Minister from 20 September 1957 to 12 December 1957, then again from 12 December 1960 to 7 February 1972. He was appointed as Governor-General in 1977 and served until 1980.

Holyoake is to date the third longest serving New Zealand Prime Minister (just under 12 years), surpassed only by Richard Seddon's 13 years and William Massey's close to 13 years; he was also the first to be born in the 20th century.[2] He was known for his diplomatic style and "plummy" voice. He was also fondly (or mockingly) known as Kiwi Keith, a name given to him in childhood to distinguish him from an Australian child with the same name.[2]

Sir Walter Nash, GCMG, CH (12 February 1882 – 4 June 1968) served as the 27th Prime Minister of the Second Labour Government of New Zealand from 1957 to 1960 and was also highly influential in his role as Minister of Finance. He is noted for his long period of service, having been associated with the Labour Party since its creation.

Mabel Bowden Howard (18 April 1894 – 23 June 1972) was a well-known New Zealand trade unionist and politician. She was the first woman secretary of a male union (the Canterbury General Labourers’ Union).

She was a Member of Parliament for the Labour Party from 1943 until 1969. In 1947 she became New Zealand's first woman cabinet minister when she was made Minister of Health and Minister in charge of Child Welfare.
She is remembered for waving two large pairs of bloomers in parliament in support of her successful campaign to have clothing sizes standardised.

Bobby calves are young calves which are to be slaughtered for human consumption

The New Zealand National Party (Māori: Rōpū Nāhinara, "National" or "the Nats") currently is the largest party in the New Zealand House of Representatives and in November 2008 formed a minority government with support from three minor parties.


The New Zealand Labour Party (Māori: Rōpū Reipa o Aotearoa) is a New Zealand political party. It describes itself as centre-left[1] and socially progressive[2] and has been one of the two primary parties of New Zealand politics since 1935.

After defeat in the 2008 elections, the Labour party forms the second-largest (in terms of parliamentary seats) political party represented in the New Zealand Parliament, and functions as the core of the Official Parliamentary Opposition.

On 8 November 2008, former leader Helen Clark announced she was stepping down as leader, saying a new leader was expected to be named by Christmas.[3] Her Deputy Michael Cullen followed her the next day.[4] On 11 November 2008 the parliamentary party caucus chose Phil Goff and Annette King to replace Clark and Cullen respectively.[5]

Sir Arnold Henry Nordmeyer, ONZ, KCMG (7 February 1901 – 2 February 1989), born Heinrich Arnold Nordmeyer, was a New Zealand politician. He was leader of the Labour Party for three years while it was in Opposition. 

A racing horse

New Zealand Parliamentary Debates (Hansard) is the edited report of the proceedings of the House.  


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