Sunday, 8 April 2012

A - Z Challenge: H is for HAZCHEM and also for Harris, Charlaine

is for


         PART I:

        WHAT IS IT?

It's a bit of a cheat is what it is since hazchem, or more properly HAZCHEM is an abbreviation of Hazardous Chemicals [1]  They are usually mixed in with a bright dye which turns it into a variety of colours in the blue, purple and pink colour range.

Coincidently this is the same colour range as Gatorade but ironically the chemicals usually taste better.


Hardware stores, work sitesunderneath the sink, All over the place really.  
The bigger question would be why do you want it?  

Because this is going to be the question that'll be asked if you stand at the counter demanding that they hand over a hundredweight of arsenic with a turpentine chaser. [2]


You should only ever use hazardous chemicals for their intended purpose.
If they get on exposed skin or inside your body [3] then seek medical attention immediately.

Remember we all love you and want to see you home safely.


Here is where you can finally let your inner mad scientist off the leash and place an ad announcing that he's currently hiring Igors.

With potions and formulas that bubble, froth and seethe with in a manner that speaks of their hidden menace.  The hero will certainly have his work cut out for him since the effects of the various chemicals that he drinks [4] are going to vary wildly according to the needs of the plot.

It might be that someone is poisoned and the chemicals required to form the antidote are both difficult to obtain and almost impossible to transport.

Perhaps someone doesn't want to take their medicine and the baddies force them to drink or bathe in the chemicals until something happens. [5]


        PART II:


is also for

Harris, Charlaine

Author of The Southern Vampire Mysteries which are more popularly known as True Blood.  It follows Sookie Stackhouse who is a waitress in the small town of Bon Temps.  Vampires, werewolves and mystical beasties of all descriptions abound and each book is a great read that don't require knowledge of the previous books in the series so that you know exactly whats going on.

I would offer this book to anyone I saw reading Twilight [5] 

  1. Also an indication that I wrote this one at work.  I've been looking at the HAZCHEM notification signs for the last 5 years.
  2. The trick is to go in disguised as a farmer and buy a whole lot of equipment to go along with your story.
  3. Using methods that I don't get paid enough to speculate about.
  4. Of course he's going to be a male.  We're the only ones who are clever enough to look at the skull and crossbow on the bottles label and think "I bet that would go down well with a twist of lemon"

    If the main characters a woman then she'll be the one thinking "I bet I could charge some guy $10.00 a shot"
  5. It worked for the Joker and Clayface (of Batman Fame as if I needed to tell you)
  6. No I wouldn't.  I'd be all smug and superior because I was reading quality work with vampires and actual scary bits.

The Hasty Higgeldipiggledy Hen,
who went to market in a Blue Bonnet and Shawl,
and bought a Fish for her Supper.


  1. I tried out True Blood, but just couldn't get into it. But,'s loads better than Twilight, because Harris comes across as an "author", and not a "writer" like Meyer does. Maybe you know what I having trouble bringing my thoughts from my head onto this post :/

    Basically, I feel she had a good idea, then vomited it onto paper, found a publisher willing to invest in a new sort of story, and did very little much-needed editing. It's sort of like if I gave any random 10 year old a premise and said "go at it" and then published the resulting work. But Harris doesn't come across as a juvenile writer (note: not a writer for juveniles.....a Juvenile Writer.)

    Am I too harsh??? I apologize Twi-hards...not picking on the readers, just the author. :/

  2. No that pretty much sums up my feelings about Twilight as well. Any genre is going to have good ones and bad ones but for the bad one to make a million billion dollars is slightly galling.

    Personally one of my favourite vampire scenes of all time is from Shadow of the Vampire where William Dafoe drinks schnapps with some of the humans.

  3. Nice! Thanks for the linky, and yeah, that is the best scene in the movie (and yeah, one of the best vampire scenes ever)!!!exclamation-point!!! (I loved how they did that movie, by the a bit arthouse-ish)

    And best glittering "vegetarian" vampires.