Friday, 9 December 2011

Can we guess your characters age? Blogfest Contest

We'll save the regularly scheduled post [1] so that I can post about this blogfest Which I stumbled across on Everything you didn't want to know about writing. [2] and is the brainchild of

The gist of the contest is that the first 250 words of your manuscript, regardless of whether it's finished or a Work In Progress. Then jump onto a few other entrants and try to guess the age of the character, give critiques, or praise [3] 

I did have to whittle it down a little to make the 250 word limit but it's only replacing a few words here and there.  All this really means is that if this ever does get published this excerpt and the first few paragraphs won't marry up perfectly but aside from that and without any further guilding of the lilly. Here's my Entry. 

Character Evelyn Oneeye [4]

For a time she dared to dream of escape, even a rescue, but she knew it was futile. There would be no rescue because she wasn't here, had never been here and, really, shouldn't have been here but the opportunity to tug the barons nose had simply been too much to resist. 

“Good evening Beautiful. It's a cold night out there tonight and no mistake” The voice of the Baron in question brought her out of her dreaming and she raised her head, the effort of even this small movement almost exhausting her “I've told you before, Don't call me that” 
His smile was contemptuous but then it always had been “Look at you still trying to give orders” without warning his fist, made heavy with tasteless jewelery, slammed into her face “Tell me who sent you!” 
She spat but it fell short “I don't speak with traitors. You couldn't break me when I was your betrothed and you can't break me now” 
“You sheep can bleat about traitors all you want. When the dust settles I'm going to be the one ruling Kalagrim while you'll be just another beggar rolling around in the filth” 

The door opened again with the blast of wind pulling the guardsman in with it. “Baron Trailin sir!” he remembered to come to attention and salute, Ambian style, just in time “a traveller at the gate requests an audience with you. He claims to be from the Carbine Barony” 


  1. That I totally had already prepared and ready to go. Honest 
  2. Which is always awesome and you should totally visit. Don't forget to bring cake because that's always polite. 
  3. Or money. I'll stress right now that money is perfectly acceptable.
  4. In the actual book her name isn't revealed until later for various reasons, but it doesn't hurt anything to include it.


  1. I'm going to go with early 20's...maybe? Because of the action taking place, we don't yet have a good feel for her voice--other than that she is spunky. And you've put her in a situation where we already feel sympathy for her.

    This is a great and intriguing beginning and I would read on IF:

    You fix the punctuation. There is a serious lack of punctuation that made it hard to read. Sometimes that happens when we cut and paste from one document to the blog. So before you enter the actual contest, check the punctuation.

    Other than that, this has caught my attention and I would definitely read on! Good job.

  2. It's kind of hard to tell. Early 20s, maybe? But then, this feels like it's in the olden days, so maybe younger since everyone grew up so much faster then....

  3. It's still very much a WIP but I'm prepared to blame the copy and pasting for mucking up the punctuation ;)

  4. I agree, a little hard to tell in this snippet...but I'll take a stab and go for early 20s. Maybe late teens. The MC sounds assured enough to be a little older, although the setting sounds "old" (or fantasy), meaning that people often matured far sooner than contemporary humans. So I'm not positive.

    Yes, clean up the punctuation for a smoother read. :) Seems like an interesting world you have going here.

  5. I'm thinking early 20s. Maybe 22? 23?
    (Posting as my alter ego since Emi Gayle doesn't have a blogger account). :)

  6. I'm conflicted about this snippet becuase I would normally assume a woman in this siuation would be older--you know, early twenties? But if I'm judging by the *voice*, which is what this contest is about, I'd have to go with 16. The way she thinks has that young quality for me.

  7. The way she spits back at him, the *voice* sounds young to me... like 14-ish, but the *betrothed* comment males me think/hope she's around 18+

  8. My guess is 18. She's a firecracker for sure! :)

  9. She sounds older, but because of the fantasy elements I'm going to go with late teens, maybe 18. Sounds interesting!

  10. I'm going to say 18. Nicely written.

    You have a new follower in me;) Hope you can drop by my blog.

  11. I'd put her age at 18. The former betrothal and her mature, yet young, voice make me think she's just on the verge of adulthood. I like her spunkiness.

  12. I'm also guessing 18 because of the "betrothal" but she still sounds young so late teens sounds right.

  13. Well Alea Iacta Est as Caesar said when he was feeling particularly pretentious.

    I didn't make the semifinals but all the comments have given me some ground to work on and I'll have to put in a few pieces that show her true age.

    For better or worse here's her profile. minus a few things that must remain classified:

    Character: Evelyn Oneeye

    Once a member of the Esteele family she was disowned at twenty when she ran off with her lover Tobias after driving her husband, Baron Cole Trailin through the streets of Hermitage, the royal city. [See Baron Trailin, Tobias]

    For three years they were a plague on the merchants and made their living as carefree bandits until Tobias was killed in mysterious circumstances, leaving her alone and pregnant with their son.
    After drifting for a time she found employment as the personal guard of Baron Damian Lutin where the both of them have lived for the past five years. He basks in the notoriaty of having someone her protecting him. [See Baron Lutin]

    When the story begins she is trapped in the cold stones of the Northern Reach and is thirty years old with her son, being seven, remains at Lutins keep.
    Certainly nobody is saying the words "hostage for surety" at least not yet. [see chapter three part four, Promotion]

    She has a slightly anoying tendancy to get the last word in and even after all these years the green crocodile tattoo of a bride still stands out on her face.

    As the name suggests she is missing an eye, the left one. It was a painful lesson taught to her by a pair of hunters after the price on her head. If Tobias hadn't been there then this book would certainly be about someone else.

    After the change she is minus her right hand as it was unable to be saved. Nethertheless she adapts quickly to the new forms, meeting with Aldorn [see Aldorn the Legendary Champion] and receiving the task of retrieving Loves Regret, making her escape from Leonia [see Leonia] and finding her way into Lilytown [see Lilytown, Straggletaggle]