Now I'm not usually one for venting.
BUT!
A little while ago I managed to catch an British cop show which would have gone unremarked upon were it not for the fact that
A) It involved computers and the Internet which is always interesting and
B) This is a filler post because this cold has knocked me for six
Seriously this is exactly what I look like right now. |
Da Plot:
Mr X had been abducting children off the street, showing a staggering amount of parents and caregivers who were just phoning it in, once he had them he'd make a large amount of money operating a paysite which streamed naughty films live over the Internet which, in case you didn't know, is the scary place where all the perverts live [1] and nothing good ever comes out of it.
The police investigated and with the assistance of some witty banter, some plot advancing detective work and the timely use of a local snitch [2] they revealed to the audience that Mr X was in fact Messrs X and this kind of thing was being conducted all over the place. [3]
The snitch fingered the local branch of Messrs X and as the man had a computer repair shop, bringing us back to the "people that use computers=baddies" aspect just in case anyone out there had forgotten.
With a computer that had been made not to work [4] on purpose they descended on the repair shop but, and this was the cunning part, the officer who went inside was not dressed in his uniform! Of course it didn't help that Mr Mufti was about as subtle and cunning as a tank, all but arresting the man on the spot. He managed to struggle through the necessary computer talk and then the baddie brought up the subject of the cleverly hidden folder of dodgy pictures that had been put there for him to discover.
Well, I say cleverly hidden, in reality they were put in a folder on the desktop which is exactly where everyone puts any incriminating evidence such as might be used against them in a court of law.
<indicates folder with pictures inside>
Baddie: "And whats inside this one?"
Mr Mufti: "Oh that's private"
Mr Mufti left the shop but barely had any time to proceed in an orderly manner to the Muftimobile before the repairman was calling him up and saying "I've got something that you should see"
Naturally the local Mr X was arrested and he provided the cops with information about where they could find this weeks child and return her to the parents.
But just to remind us all to be scared of anyone who uses a computer and/or the Internet they showed a repeat of the opening scene, where a child is being shown over the Internet and the shadowy figure is sitting in the dark just watching [5]
But just to remind us all to be scared of anyone who uses a computer and/or the Internet they showed a repeat of the opening scene, where a child is being shown over the Internet and the shadowy figure is sitting in the dark just watching [5]
Closing thought:
Now I'm not coming down on the side of the baddies here but if I had a hobby that I knew people might get a little uptight about and suddenly some random person came into my shop with pictures of my hobby that were sitting on his computers desktop I would like to think that there would be enough alarm bells ringing in my head for me to
A: Stop doing my hobby.
B: Vanish like yesterdays news and
C: take up trainspotting instead. [6]
A: Stop doing my hobby.
B: Vanish like yesterdays news and
C: take up trainspotting instead. [6]
But not this kind. This kind always ends badly [7] |
Notes:
- and is television shorthand for the bad place in the same way that the carnival is their shorthand for strange goings on
- "known for his reliability" actual line
- are you proper scared yet?
- They said it was by installing special software but I as soon as I heard the windows start up sound I thought, that'll do it. (Boom Boom)
- dun Dun DUN!
- I certainly wouldn't ring him up and say "Did you know I've got the same hobby as you? Do you want to be friends?"
- Especially if you're Ewen Mcgregor and George Lucas is in the audience